Thursday, April 22, 2010

N is for Never......


Good afternoon Mrs. Matlock....It is Melinda here all ready for this weeks Alphabe Thursday.....Now dont be a nag, I am not that tardy....I brought you a nice nasturtium salad with nectarines to sweeten you up...
Today my essay is entitled, "N' is for Never." As in things I would never do....
There are a lot of them actually, like being cruel to animals and children, committing crimes, things like that...I am talking about the things that people will do for money....Like on reality shows. Here are a few of my never's!!





I would never bungee jump....not for a million dollars and not that anyone is offering....but if they did? No way, not ever...I would die mid jump, so it just isnt worth it. The same thing goes for anything to do with hanging or jumping or extreme heights...I deal with my fear of flying, but that is about as far as it goes for this woman. I am the one that sweats bullets on the flying dumbo's at Disneyland....








I would never eat organ meats....oh ick, giant ick...who wants to eat something called offal? You can make them pretty and call them things like Pate', uh-uh aint happening.......blech....
















I would never live anywhere with a cockroach.....they scare me to death...If I saw one today, I would leave everything and go to a hotel until I found a new place to live....I am sure they have their place in God's creation scheme, but not in mine......






I also know I would never join a nudist colony.....trust me on this....I worked at a health club in the 80's that would rent the club out after hours to private organizations....One Friday night it was my turn to work for one of these private openings...Everyone kept snickering...I had no idea why until I walked out of the front office into the weight room and their were naked people everywhere...naked people playing volleyball, swimming, pumping iron....It is a picture you do not want in your head believe me.....Nasty!!!!!! I do not want to see these people naked, nor do I want them to see my naked...thank you very much!





I also said I would never, never get married again and I did. I guess that is a "never say never" kinda thing!
Now, just because never is kind of negative, there are so many nice things I will do.....I will be a good friend. I will be a good listener. I will be kind and love other people and do things with a smile..Does that make up for all my never's? What Never's do you claim?

25 comments:

Julie Harward said...

LOL...that was funny about the nudists...how could they...thats a NEVER for me too! And I'm glad you found your sweetheart...that is a good never! Come say hi :D

Victoria @ BUMBLE BEANS said...

i said I'd never do a portrait in fabric because they never look right..
ha ha! well, there you go. Never say never...
very funny post...

Viki said...

I pretty much go with all your nevers.

OMG, that must have been something when you found out there were nudists at the club. I don't think I could have stayed. I probably would have been laughing the whole time LOL.

Pat said...

Hmmmmm.....my biggest never probably is this one....

I will NEVER live long enought to use all the fabric in my stash!!! LOL

PeggyR said...

Very clever Melinda! My never is probably will never use up everything I have in this art room!

Laurie said...

I'll never get on a plane! Just can't do it, unless I'm out cold. Love this post, I agree with you on everything!

Jo said...

loved your never's but enjoyed your nice's much more!

I will never .... hmmm, i'm there with ya on the organ meat ... and i will never get through my stash of scrapbooking stuff ...

Amanda said...

Oh wow. I will never look at workout equipment the same way again....

Natasha said...

What a funny post! I would have to agree with all of your nevers! Cockroaches...AARRGGHH!!!

Best wishes,
Natasha.

Robin (rsislandcrafts) said...

This was a fun post to read :) I'm with you on never bungee jumping. Not good with heights at all. So far I have been able to avoid airplanes but not sure how long that will last.

As I've gotten older I find myself more willing to try some of my nevers but I know a nudist group/colony will never get crossed off the never list. lol

joanne lendaro said...

Began as a funny, very funny post! Ended with being a wonderful post! Wishing Mr.& Mrs. all of the most wonderful things life has to offer you as you travel the road together.

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

This post had me laughing from the onset. Like you, I would never, never, ever be cruel to animals or children. I WOULD turn anyone in to the authorities who did. That means I would never walk away from reporting and exposing abuse, even though doing so might put me in harm's way.

I don't eat meat as it is. If that's not enough to turn the world into vegetarians, I don't know what is.

Again, loved this post.

Stempelientje said...

I said since I found out how children were 'made' and how they were born that I NEVER EVER wanted a child unless someone would put a baby in a box on my doorstep with a note on it: KEEP ME.
Years ticked by and stood by it,I didn't want a child.
Guess what happened to me when I was 40?
Yes.I became a mother!!
And about her: No regrets!I am very happy with my girl,and she is 7 now.

Jenny said...

What a nifty post Mrs. Newlywed. Umm.... aren't you supposed to be doing Newlywed type stuff instead of Alphabe-Thursday-ing?

Just sayin'

Thanks for this fun and different link on our little journey through Alphabe-Thursday's Letter "N"!

You are very Nice!

A+

mbkatc230 said...

I'm with you on the nudist colony thing! I can just imagine the look on your face when you realized what was going on. Great N post! Kathy

Jenxo said...

haha,funny post. i had an aunt and uncle who travelled a bit ;) not nudists tho, naturists!

nothing like a nice piece of liver, bacon and gravy!!

Jacque said...

Hi Melinda,

I totally agree with you about one thing...NEVER say NEVER...It comes back to bite you on the butt REAL HARD!! I've done lots of things that I said that I would NEVER do! Life has to take us down a few notches every now and then.

Thanks for the great "N" post and thanks for stopping by the farmhouse for a visit. We love having company!

Have a great weekend.

Jacque said...

Hi Melinda,

I totally agree with you about one thing...NEVER say NEVER...It comes back to bite you on the butt REAL HARD!! I've done lots of things that I said that I would NEVER do! Life has to take us down a few notches every now and then.

Thanks for the great "N" post and thanks for stopping by the farmhouse for a visit. We love having company!

Have a great weekend.

lissa said...

I'm with your on the nudist thing - I do not want to see anyone naked, I don't care how beautiful you are, if you're naked for no apparent reason, stay away from me

of cause I have a lot of nevers but I think even if we decide on never doing something, somehow something change your mind

anyway, thanks for your visit

easternsparkle said...

All those nevers - loved the naked bit!!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

You obviously don't live anywhere near me. Here we control roaches, but are never able to eliminate them. I hate them and they still give me the creeps even after all these years. I guess if I had to pick a roach over a nudist I'd go with the roach. :)

Christy said...

i once heard this story on this american life about people who have bug infestations in their home that they cannot get rid of...it was awful...i am with you with the cockroach thing!

Mumsy said...

Oh, I love your "never" lists, and I agree with some of them, eating animal's organ, nudist colony, and bungee jumping for examples..

Christy said...

Never, no way no how would I be naked in public. Don't want to see anyone else either.
I can't think of too many nevers - many things freak me out but to say never, hmm that would be like testing fate and next thing you know BAM there is live bugs on my plate waiting to be eaten! Loved your post.

Sherry said...

I would NEVER eat organ food or join a nudist colonie either. Gross! I think cockroaches are total disgusting. If I didn't have little ones at home I might consider bunging jumping and if Earl would get off his butt I would get married again.

Sherry