Art quilts and over the hump...

I had a very rough few days but now I am back with a smile on my face and ready to rejoin the world...I hit rock bottom over the kids being back with mom..It is funny how sometimes feelings are delayed...I knew the grief was in there, I just wasnt letting it out cause it felt so big it was scary. I felt like if I let a little out, it might all come pouring out and somehow I might get lost in it...Here is the deal...Me raising the kids for two years was a lose, lose situation for me...It didnt start out that way...To back up I got them when Andrew was 18 months and liv was 6...I look at my nephew Jace, who is just over a year and I am shocked that Andrew was that little...It was tough, I walked the floor with him, liv cried for her mom everytime she was upset and I just went day to day...But in those first few days, weeks and months I had hope...I figured I am watching them while she uses the time to get better. Except she wasnt and it started to show...Christmas comes (a deadline in my mind...what mom wouldnt be there for Christmas? ) birthdays, school things, then Ron died..still nothing..Then my thinking changed..I am now their mother and father and this is where the lose/lose comes in for me...if she doesnt get better, I am going to raise them by myself and it is going to be soooo hard and if she does get better, they are going to be ripped away from me and my heart is going to go with them. Am I saying that this isnt where the kids belong, back with mom? No, becuase I am happy for them...It just hurts so darn bad you guys...so bad, it is like physical pain...She doesnt have them call me and it is just like I went from full time mom to nothing...I did talk to Andrew the other day( the first time since the end of July) and I just had tears streaming down my face the whole time. I spent a day and a half in bed just crying and praying and trying to come to terms with this whole thing...I am doing better right now...I know why God brought me to Utah...I have the best man in the world in my life and I am so grateful. He shares my sadness and helps me here and prays for me and reminds me to do the same...Ok, enough of this...just feel like a lot of you have been on this journey of raising grandbabies with me and wanted to share....
I keep posting pictures of quilties that I am making for a round robin swap so I thought I would post some of the ones made for me so far...My theme is Red, black and white...open to whatever the artist wants to do....
These are the first three quilties that I got....A red shiny flower on a background of pristine white with the finest little stitches by Judy Ross...I just love how dainty it is , cause it is the exact oposite of something I would do.....Then in the back is this beautiful, textured piece by Holly...I love the muslin edges and I think the whole thing just comes together...The quilite on the right is by one of my very good friends, Marva...she knows I like "stuff" and she did me proud...she is a beautiful sketcher and crazy quilter and she captured what I like just perfect! I also had to show the front and backs of the quilties that my good friend Sanna and I made for each other...We put our hearts in this stuff and go to town. I think the way we put things together kind of in the same way. Earlier you saw the front of her bird piece but I am going to show it again and this time show the back too...her tag is a birds egg...

Now here is the quiltie she made for me...all the little jesters are handpainted on canvas, then sewn on...


Last of all I am showing a picture of an art quilt I just made...An experiment that worked..YAY! I actually quilted, sewed and painted a picture of BF and I ...the pic was taken on my birthday...We were out dancing and he held out his arm and took this picture of the both of us...the white is his cowboy hat..I thought it wouldnt hurt to try to do it...I sketched it in pencil on a piece of wool felt then started painting and stitching...then when it was done I cut it out..Then I made a Utah canyon background out of fabric, paint and stitches and sewed the portrait on...It's called Love in the canyon....cool huh? I am going to mat and frame it....He loves it by the way....
Also, just have to add that today is a very exciting day here at my house!!! I am bringing home a new baby to love and care for...Any ideas? you will have to wait and see!!!!!