Sunday, October 11, 2009

Art quilts and over the hump...

I had a very rough few days but now I am back with a smile on my face and ready to rejoin the world...I hit rock bottom over the kids being back with mom..It is funny how sometimes feelings are delayed...I knew the grief was in there, I just wasnt letting it out cause it felt so big it was scary. I felt like if I let a little out, it might all come pouring out and somehow I might get lost in it...Here is the deal...Me raising the kids for two years was a lose, lose situation for me...It didnt start out that way...To back up I got them when Andrew was 18 months and liv was 6...I look at my nephew Jace, who is just over a year and I am shocked that Andrew was that little...It was tough, I walked the floor with him, liv cried for her mom everytime she was upset and I just went day to day...But in those first few days, weeks and months I had hope...I figured I am watching them while she uses the time to get better. Except she wasnt and it started to show...Christmas comes (a deadline in my mind...what mom wouldnt be there for Christmas? ) birthdays, school things, then Ron died..still nothing..Then my thinking changed..I am now their mother and father and this is where the lose/lose comes in for me...if she doesnt get better, I am going to raise them by myself and it is going to be soooo hard and if she does get better, they are going to be ripped away from me and my heart is going to go with them. Am I saying that this isnt where the kids belong, back with mom? No, becuase I am happy for them...It just hurts so darn bad you guys...so bad, it is like physical pain...She doesnt have them call me and it is just like I went from full time mom to nothing...I did talk to Andrew the other day( the first time since the end of July) and I just had tears streaming down my face the whole time. I spent a day and a half in bed just crying and praying and trying to come to terms with this whole thing...I am doing better right now...I know why God brought me to Utah...I have the best man in the world in my life and I am so grateful. He shares my sadness and helps me here and prays for me and reminds me to do the same...Ok, enough of this...just feel like a lot of you have been on this journey of raising grandbabies with me and wanted to share....
I keep posting pictures of quilties that I am making for a round robin swap so I thought I would post some of the ones made for me so far...My theme is Red, black and white...open to whatever the artist wants to do....
These are the first three quilties that I got....A red shiny flower on a background of pristine white with the finest little stitches by Judy Ross...I just love how dainty it is , cause it is the exact oposite of something I would do.....Then in the back is this beautiful, textured piece by Holly...I love the muslin edges and I think the whole thing just comes together...The quilite on the right is by one of my very good friends, Marva...she knows I like "stuff" and she did me proud...she is a beautiful sketcher and crazy quilter and she captured what I like just perfect! I also had to show the front and backs of the quilties that my good friend Sanna and I made for each other...We put our hearts in this stuff and go to town. I think the way we put things together kind of in the same way. Earlier you saw the front of her bird piece but I am going to show it again and this time show the back too...her tag is a birds egg...

Now here is the quiltie she made for me...all the little jesters are handpainted on canvas, then sewn on...


Last of all I am showing a picture of an art quilt I just made...An experiment that worked..YAY! I actually quilted, sewed and painted a picture of BF and I ...the pic was taken on my birthday...We were out dancing and he held out his arm and took this picture of the both of us...the white is his cowboy hat..I thought it wouldnt hurt to try to do it...I sketched it in pencil on a piece of wool felt then started painting and stitching...then when it was done I cut it out..Then I made a Utah canyon background out of fabric, paint and stitches and sewed the portrait on...It's called Love in the canyon....cool huh? I am going to mat and frame it....He loves it by the way....
Also, just have to add that today is a very exciting day here at my house!!! I am bringing home a new baby to love and care for...Any ideas? you will have to wait and see!!!!!

15 comments:

Pat said...

I'm really kind of new to your blog and don't know exactly what to say, but I can feel you have been in a lot of pain and I hope things get better for you. I DO know what to say about your artistic ability...it is WONDERFUL!!! I will be looking forward to finding out what this new little baby is, too!

Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

Dear Melinda, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. I can tell you are a strong woman because you were there for your grandbabies. I wish the very best for you and the babies and their mother. I am glad you have someone to help you through the grief. Hang in there girlfriend.

The quilties are just awesome. I want to try some art quilts sometime. I'll let you know if I do. You are an inspiration!

A new baby...hmmm! I bet it is a four legged furbaby. Or maybe a new sewing machine? Guess I'll just have to endure the suspense and wait for your new post. LOL!
Big ole quilters hugs to you, Karen

LynnDel said...

Wow, Melinda, what a time of it you've had. You are making it, though, you are getting through it. Love the art you posted today. BTW, I just joined FiberArt Traders, to see what it was all about, and saw your name on their.

Micki said...

I can see that you have been going through some rough times. Keep you chin up! Your art work is wonderful!
Micki

Barb said...

As I read your words, I just wanted to cry for you and with you. Like Pat said, I don't know the full story but from what you said, you loved those kids as your own and to have very little communication with them is hard. It is okay to cry but it seems you are getting back on your feet with all that wonderful art work you are doing.....If you are ever up at night and can't sleep....just find me on facebook or messenger...we have a 6 hour time difference.

searchfamilies said...

Prayers are coming your way from the UK i pray that the loss will easy it takes time & while the children are back with their mum you show that you love & cared for them just by how hard it has hit you.
Nice work by the way
Hugs Janice

Helen in the UK said...

Sending HUGE HUGS to you, although I'm relived to hear that you are letting that grief out and that you have BF to mop your tears and help you through it.
The artwork is FANTASTIC!!!
Sounds like Cooper is going to get even more jealous ... can't wait to see the new 'baby' :)

Utah Grammie said...

I am unaware of the situation, but I can read the pain in your words..I can't imagine being in your situation and how strong you must have been..prayers that all will work out as it should.
Your quilties are adorable! You certainly do have a talent and need to share that with the world...

New baby? A puppy or kitty? Can't wait! Do tell (and SHOW)
;-)

Margaret said...

Hi Melinda, I can't even start to imagine what you're going through, you've faced some tough challanges before and I know you're going to get thru this as well, hang in there girl, lots of positive thoughts winging their way to you!Mx

Robin (rsislandcrafts) said...

I'm so sorry your heart is hurting so bad right now. It's hard when you don't get to see or talk to the kiddos when you spent so much time with them. I keep telling myself that things happen for a reason even if we never truly know that reason.

Your projects are gorgeous. You are very talented! It's nice to be able to channel our feelings into our art isn't it?

Here's to better days and brighter tomorrows :)

QUILTING IS BLISSFUL, DI said...

Hi--I am new to your site as of tonight--I am visiting you as we are both in the ornament swap--so I want to get to know those I don;t know yet!!
Sorry about your pain--they say time heals all wounds--I am not too sure about that--I think time helps us put it on the back burner--then it doesn't hurt soooo much--but some things are always still with us!!
Take care and keep up with your art work and sewing--great job--
Hugs, Di

Sherry said...

I can't imagine how much you must miss the kids. I don't know how you do it, but I know that it is something that I would do to if I had too. I'm giving you a big hug!! I love your quilties and I'm so glad you've met someone!! He sounds very special and deserve that.

Are you getting a puppy??

Love ya!
Sherry

roc said...

i'm sorry for your pain melinda. know that i'm praying for you and sending you lots of healing energy.

purplepaint said...

I love your new trailer! How fun!!! And thank you for your comments on my quiltie, glad you like it gf!!! Love this piece with you and your sweetie!!! You never cease to amaze me! Your work is just awesome!!!

disa said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.