I have been really struggling to do anything lately! Depression is terrible and unfortunately, I know all about it . Today I felt halfway normal, maybe because there actually was sun and a blue sky . I still haven't been able to find a job, other than Sunday mornings at the church nursery. Last week,there were a total of thirteen jobs listed for the whole island and all of them were in nursing! I am happy for my daughter who graduates in June with her nursing degree, but it's not so great for me. I am starting to realize that I am going to have to pack it in here and go stay with either my dad or my sister. Can I tell you how much this hurts my pride? I have NEVER done this, and now here I am. I hate it. I feel bad for the little kids and I feel like a failure that I cant financially support them. One step from homeless is how I feel and in all honesty, that is probably the reality. Oh blah, blah blah Melinda.....this is not how I intended this post to go, but is honest. You have my permission to skip over it. Really! ...I did make myself go down to the dungeon (basement ) and sew. I finished the top of a quilt for Andrew. It is all different pirate fabrics and will be really cute. He is getting a kick out of seeing it made and knowing it is just for him. I also made another paper dress with Liv's help. Two more to go...I also have been walking on the treadmill every day to try to get some endorphins to kick in...Here is to a better life...somewhere, somehow...Are you listening God? Please.