Friday, January 22, 2010

A is for Angel of Mercy........



....
I had the privilege to know and love someone all her life and yet I never really saw her in her glory until the end of her life.....I am talking about my mom.....If you follow my blog, most of you know that I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2002 at age 56...Way too young...She always had a very compassionate heart towards the sick and the old and her friends meant a lot to her...I remember when I was a teenager, she went to a women's bible study and they were studying different spiritual gifts that God gives us on this earth....She was a "mercy"..... I don't know too much about the study but that just stuck in my mind....After the cancer came back for the third time on her chest wall, (you know, where her boob used to be) the Dr recommended a bone marrow transplant...She went up to OHSU in Portland to check into the bone marrow transplant ward...It is a sad place.....Using intense chemo, they kill your system before they can put in the marrow and it is a long ugly process...Within a day of being there, my mom knew who everyone was and what their story was....she was the cheerleader....I would come after work to see her and she wanted me to go sit with the kid next door to her who had no one in the state. ( all his family was in Boise) The first few days while she was settling in, she was making her rounds, cheering everyone on...Then the medication hit and the hair went, the pounds went and the skin turned yellow....she didn't say too much and she got weak, I watched her go downhill, fast........I came in one day and she told me that she had had enough of staying in bed and that she had things to do...I thought it was the morphine talking........She told me that I could help her walk and she would hold her I.V pole....she wanted to wear her pink robe so I struggled to get her into it....She was weak, just shaking by the time I got it on her...I suggested a short walk to the bathroom where she could wash her face.....Oh no! we were going down the hallway.....I got her out there and she proceeded to go to every room and check on every patient, a lot of them in better shape than she was...."How are you? I have been thinking of you? Is there anything I can do? You are going to get through this, I just have a good feeling"....I could feel her fragile little body just shaking with the effort....I looked over and took her in...her tiny little face ravaged by the chemo....her bald little head and the love for these people in her eyes....I had to look away...I wanted to curl in a ball and sob for weeks....I was humbled, I was awed....my mom, an angel of mercy.......At her funeral I shared this story as part of her eulogy....

After she died my sister brought me a letter she wrote for me just telling me how much she loved having me as her first born.
she told me she would be waiting for me in Heaven and I would have to look hard because she would have two boobs, all her hair and she would be singing in tune.....Don't forget the halo mom! I know you have a big one, cause" I saw it that day....I love you mama...xoxoxoxoxoox

30 comments:

RNSANE said...

Well, Melinda, I did not get through your post without crying. I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your courageous and wonderful mother. You did a incredible job of presenting her to all of us in your post. She must have really been a true angel of a woman, only temporarily on loan here.

Thank you for sharing her.

Mumsy said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom! Loosing a parents isn't easy!

Your post brings back memory of when I lost my dad!

Colleen said...

Because I've just lost my big brother to cancer, I can relate to what you are saying - this cancer world is terrifying, mean, rude, awful and it take some VERY special people to hold their dignity, their faith and their compassion for others the way your Mom did.

Just remember, one doesn't always survive cancer, but they have beaten it just the same :-)

Blessings..

Viki said...

As a BC survivor myself so far, I grieve for your mother. She was indeed an angel of mercy and I'm sure the other patients that she comforted felt that way too.

Needled Mom said...

This was beautiful (as I write this through my tearful eyes) and your mom would be so proud of you.

mbkatc230 said...

What a beautiful tribute to a very special woman. Your mother sounds like such a wonderful person, truly an angel here on earth. Thank you for sharing her story. Kathy

Pat said...

You wrote beautifully about your mom....and I, too, thank you for sharing this story with us. My mom died of breast cancer that had spread in 1989 and it was so sad to see her quality of life slip away. I often wonder what she'd think of our retirement location...of the great grandkids she never lived to see......too many things she missed. Cancer is a horrible disease....it truly is.

MrsJenB said...

That's such a beautiful, moving tribute to your mom. She sounds like an amazing person and all I can do is thank you for sharing that - it's always important to have reminders of true angels on earth.

Laurie said...

A beautiful tribute to your angel mom Melinda, I wrote of my father a couple days ago. New Years always bring back such fond, special and also sad memories. She is in a beautiful place now, and the letter she left you is just amazing. God Bless you,
Laurie

Pam said...

What a lovely tribute to your mom. It brought back memories of a letter I have from my mom. Written before her death in 1982 at the age of 58. She tells me how proud she was to have me as a daughter and friend. Thanks for helping me remember! I'm sure your mom's halo is one of the brightest.

GardenofDaisies said...

Your mother was a very special person. And yes 56 is way way too young! But you were so lucky to have her in your life!

Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

Wow, what a post! You had a awesome mom. Bless both of your hearts. This post brought tears to my eyes. I just wanted to let you know that it was a great posts. I am going to make a donation to breast cancer just because she was such a very kind kind soul.I can tell you both loved each other very much! Very big hug,~Karen

Patty said...

You Mom was a brave generous woman who thought others when she could have wrapped herself in self pity and anger. Even though your mom has passed on to a better place, she is still touching people here. Thank you for sharing your mother with me it makes me appreciate mine so much more and reminds me of my father, who is I'm sure smiling down at me this very moment.

Jeanne Turner McBrayer said...

This was so beautifully written. I still miss my mother, although I lost her to cancer 25 years ago. Thanks for sharing this story.

Linda said...

Melinda thank you for sharing your story and that of your wonderful Mother. I must say that 56 is way too young! I am touched by her courage and yours and tears are on my face but I am sure your Angel Of Mercy will see you one day with halo in place!

Prim2Pink said...

Hummm...I seem to be at a loss for words at the moment.
Your Mother was truly an Amazing Angel of Mercy. What a remarkable person!
Judy

Rannyjean said...

Crying my eyes out and you know why! Amazing post and you my friend are amazing as well. Shoot my your snail mail so I can get those selveges off to you and out of my hair!

Jo said...

tears flowing here ... beautiful post, what a loving tribute

Amanda said...

Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful, compassionate woman, who lived her life fully and selflessly. Your must be so proud to have had a woman like her for your mom.

laterg8r said...

i'm so sorry for your loss.

thanks for coming by my blog and leaving such a nice comment :D

lissa said...

what a sweet tribute to a great lady

sorry, I don't have any more words other than that

Catherine said...

Beautiful...
Thanks for stopping by Love Living Simply!
:)

Jenny said...

Oh sweet Melinda. This is defnitely a PKW (possibly kleenex warning) blog. And so lovely. Your Mom would be so honored...the characteristics you describe in her sound so much like you...just in the small amount of time I've know you. Thanks for this lovely, lovely post. Hugs and, of course, an A+.

Laurie said...

Oh, you made me cry. What a wonderful mother you have. I don't say "had" because you still have her -- she's waiting for you.

Sherry said...

I can't imagine loosing my parents. I'm sure it's hard for you, but your mom sounds like she was a terrific lady. I'm sure she's watching you and so happy for you!

Sherry

Jenxo said...

Melinda, such a heartwrenching post. i think that you are like your mum in many ways and she would be very proud of you....jenxo

Sarah said...

Melinda, I'm misty eyed as I write this. What a beautiful, loving tribute to your mom. I know she is looking down on you with an abundance of love.

Stempelientje said...

So sad, you have lost your Mom,and indeed she was way too young.How amazing she managed to write you such a letter,that must be a real treasure for you.
Unfortunately we have all to bear our crosses with certain sadness and losses.
I hope can hold great memories of your Mom.May she rest in peace.

Marie S said...

Thank you, this is beautiful!
You have truly been blessed by an angel in your life!

Christina Colwell said...

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story of your mother's final days. I am sorry for your loss but and am happy for you that you had such an angel of mercy for your mom. I hope you alwyas remember her with warmth of heart and not sadness.