I have had a rough week. Which for me, is not all that unusual...I am suffering self doubt and really doing some heart searching...I mentioned a while back that my daughter Lisa (the kids mom) was here and doing better and was planning on moving to Utah. The plan was to integrate her back into the kids lives and ultimately have them go back with her...It was scary for me just thinking about that....Scared for the kids, for Lisa and just plain being scared to have hope again that she is truly better....Last Thursday there is a knock on the door and we open it and there is Lisa at the door, she runs in and hugs me and then announces that she is there "to get her kids"....no warning, no nothing....Behind her is someone that is a very undesirable character..he and his wife have brought her to Utah to take the kids back to Portland. What his wife doesnt know is that this man is an unconvicted child molester...This is where Lisa plans to take the kids to live..Does she know his past? Heck yeah she knows, but feels it is more important to have the kids with her...They already had Olivia in the truck when they came to the door. The police were called, they came, saw I had gaurdianship and told them to leave...(I am leaving out all the screaming and namecalling) They spent the next day in court supposedly seeing the judge, (a big lie as I was in contact with the court clerk the whole day) and eventually filed court papers to remand the custody......Supposedly her defense is that "I tricked her into signing the guardianship papers..." Oh GOOD LORD...they had the courts location, date of the hearing and the request to give me gaurdianship on them and she signed them in front of a notary....I am calling this Lisa's law : I am an idiot, the person advising me is an idiot, therefore, you must be one too! So now I was served papers and have a month to respond and I am looking at a court fight. The hard part is I dont know what to do...My objection is where she plans on taking them (unsafe) and that she thinks Andrew will just be totally unaffected by being forced to live with someone he doesnt know and "he will adjust." How fair is this? Since she pulled this fiasco and of course involved the kids, he has wet his pants and the bed every day...He never has before...At the same time I feel bad for her,(Lisa) should her stupidity be held against her? I have to fight about where she takes them, but should I fight against her having them period? To me, this just shows druggie behavior even though she is currently clean...I see an attorney again on Wednesday and take the kids to see a counselor on Tuesday...Maybe I will feel more at peace then who knows..The sad thing is Olivia is all excited about going to stay with her mom...She thinks it is a summer visit and she is very angry with me for not letting her go...I am trying to just think of their best interest and trying to keep my own "soon to be broken heart if they go back" out of it... Other than that, what can I say...life goes on, I am trying to create normalcy..I take out my aggression on the treadmill and try to act like all is fine....thanks for listening (reading) and once again I ask for your prayers...i need guidance....bad....
