Saturday, January 14, 2012
January things and a lesson in FAITH
To start with I wanted to encourage you to swing by and check out this fun site! (click on the picture on the sidebar to check it out!) This is my third year playing in the Enchanted Ornament Swap and this year we have a storybook theme. One, it is really fun, You also are encouraged to participate and post, you can swap if you like or just craft along. I love it because a theme will get my creativity going and I have got to meet some great people! It also has gotten me to try a lot of different ways to make things..It gives you a lot of freedom to just be a watcher, a participant or a swapper so come check it out! It is a great group of people and good for beginners who want to dip their toe in the water or more advanced crafters..We love you all...come play...
I mentioned a while back that I had struck up an online friendship with Cj when we swapped shabby bags. We have been writing long emails back and forth and it really has been fun for both of us to get a peek into each others life. We decided to do a 12 days of Christmas swap..We couldnt buy anything. It had to be made, repurposed or even regifted. It was so fun and both of us were thrilled with our boxes...There is so much detail in the things she sent me, that I didnt want to just lump it all together in one picture so I will show a few things at a time.
So here is 1,2,3 and four.....The most adorable little lion key chain made out of wool. I just love this guy and I looked and looked for stitches and you cant even see them! I am HORRID at hand sewing so if I did this, you would see more stitches than lion. Then this little wool mousie...He tends to travel around the house and have all kinds of adventures. I have a cat that adores him. I finally have got him up on a high shelf where the cat just eyeballs him longingly. The hedgehog box is so darn cute. I spose' I could use him for pins, but he is just to adorable for that...Besides I have THE voodoo doll for that which I still stab into occasionally. (like last night as I wandered by it) She also made me this wonderful book bag out of a book! I think this is the coolest and here is the awesomest part. It holds my kindle and keeps it safe!!! I probably have two hundred books on my kindle so it is the book that holds the books....Remember all, this is 1-4....Pretty amazing huh? She is going to take a few pictures of stuff that I sent her cause I was working so much that I didnt get a chance...
I also have been making hexagon flowers when I have a little time. Maybe someday I will have a quilts worth, but for right now I am doing them one at a time.
I also have decided that this year I am going to make seasonal table runners. It is always something that I have wanted to do, so this is the year. They dont take a whole lot of fabric and they really look pretty. I am also thinking of making wreaths to match so I have been getting ideas from the internet. There are a lot of pretty ones and I want to keep the cost down so I am able to do it...I already have the Valentine fabric for my first one...I love all the patterns.
Pretty huh? If you make any table runners or wreaths, I would love to see them. Especially if they are seasonal.
Finally I want to talk about Faith. I think this is my word for the year. I have heard that many people only turn to God when things are bad. They do the whole bargaining thing. I have been through a lot of tragedy and loss and I have never blamed God. Not once. Usually I blame myself and that is when I turn my back on God because I am so disgusted with myself or embarrassed that I continue to be the person that life takes a swing at. Am I setting myself up for this? Am I paying for my sins of stupidity and pride? Is it some kind of karma? The thing is, when I am happy and things are well I am thanking God, being grateful, feeling loved but when the bad strikes as it seems to do quite often, I turn my back. Not because I blame, but because in my mind, if I dont love myself, if I cant stand myself or am embarassed, why on earth would God even be able to stand me. So this year I am going to stand on FAITH even it is during bad times. Now I had just made this realization and I had a typical what I would call "MELINDA DAY." I wake up, it is a beautiful day and the sun just fills me with hope. I am up and moving and I now work at 12:15 so I have time to run an errand instead of running around like a chicken without a head. I go to Walmart to pick up one of my prescriptions. I get up to the counter and they bring it to the register. They say 127.00. Now I will flat out tell you that I live penny to penny. This prescription should have been 14.00 with my co pay. The rest was for things like food...and I had a week and a half to go...Apparently after you fill a prescription three times at a pharmacy you have to buy thru the mail three months at a time or they wont cover it...Let's see, five prescriptions time three months and I can barely afford them one at a time. (yes, I have applied for medicaid twice to help with co pays and I "make 50.00 too much a month) So I am weighing the choices...Food or crazy...food or crazy....I go with the sanity option and pick the medication...Run my card thru and it is declined. I am already on the verge of a breakdown so I take a deep calming breath. I know there is money in there I say...run it as credit...declined...Tears, frustration I run out of walmart destroyed. I call my bank sobbing...The lady was very kind and it turns out someone took 548. out of my account. I sit on the grass in the middle of the very crowded parking lot. Now I am hysterical...the hiccupping where you cant talk hysterical. Ever been there? Good times...I have auto pay on several utilities and apparently someone disregarded our electricity arrangement (yes there are times when I can barely pay that too.) and decided to take the whole thing. Lady at the bank was very kind and did a three way call and got them to agree to put it back and then the bank put it back pending. Now I am late for work, I have make up streaming and I still have to go back into walmart and face THE PHARMACIST who has already seen one too many meltdowns on my part. I am now the crazy woman of the day. So I get in my car and wipe my face and do the ole pep talk thing. " It is going to work out, you can do this and still have a good day. so what if you eat dog food for a week. you could stand to lose a few pounds anyway...blah blah blah......" I go into Walmart holding my head up high and get my prescription and go to get in my car. I find out I locked my only keys in the car. In fact, there they are winking at me from the drivers side floor. Oh how pretty and shiny, they are mocking me...Previous hysteria? Oh you got nothin' on this one sister...no sitting on the grass this time. I flop on my back and wail. I have no money for food, certainly no money for a locksmith. I get on my little phone and I try to call the two people who might be able to help me. I am now an hour late for work clutching my prescription bag that is supposed to keep me sane and NO ONE is answering the phone. This is not shaping up to be a good 2012...I am laying on the grass and I am hearing in my head "have faith, " have faith" The human part of me is saying " I hate my life" " I hate that I have to live this way" "Why do I want to live this way?" "I hate walmart" (not really but I just thought it might be fun to throw that in.) This time I hear the screamed words "Have Faith!!!!!!!!'" I couldnt be any more humble before God. In fact I feel worthless in his presence right now. Surely he is looking down at me saying..."what a pathetic mess this daughter of mine is...Can she ever just swallow her pride and ask for help?" In the middle of the packed Walmart parking lot laying on a little piece of grass, people agog as they walk by me, I finally humbled myself and said a prayer...God, I know you love me even though I dont deserve it and I know I need to come to you more often even when times are bad. You know my situation, you know I am a giant mess and you love me anyway. I need help from you. I dont know what to do but I am going to trust you to help me out of this mess..Thank you for loving me despite me being me...in Jesus name, Amen....I sit up, face ravaged and clothing covered in grass...I am doing the hiccuping hysterical thing again but I am walking in FAITH back into that Walmart, God right beside me...I no sooner get thru the doors than a police officer walks up to me and says with kindness "is there anything I can help you with? Are you ok?" I tell him the locked car thing and he walks me out to the car, calls another officer to bring a lock out kit and they unlock my door....Then the officer puts his arm around me and tells me it is going to be ok....boom, done...FAITH. I need to remember this, this year...I really do. Thanks for listening! xoxoxxox