My life is a rollercoaster ride...Always has been and probably always will be. I accept that. Sometimes I feel like things are either so up or so down that I must be some kind of freak of nature. Is everyone's life like this or is it just me? Is it just the way I handle things? Am I doing something to bring all the ups and downs on? I dont know really. I just hang on and when it seems appropriate or not I scream and then I hang on some more and ride the ride. Honestly, I have been having a tough time lately. I think part of it is menopause is kicking some butt here. I think if I took hormones out of the equation I might be better at riding the scary rides.
I can still laugh, like at this picture, but the laughs are fewer. I am lonely for the kids and for the sound of family around me. At the same time, I am not up for a move back to Oregon or Washington. So I try to pull my big girl underpants up and trudge along rollercoaster or no. What I am trying to say is this is what I am going through and why it has been hard to blog.
I have been working a whole lot. I worked 9 days in a row so I could go on a five day camping trip. It was really fun although the heat made it pretty rough on me. Luckily I had an air conditioned rv to escape too...I went with a group of ten other people, one baby boy and numerous dogs. We went to a park called Sand Hollow by St George in Utah. The colors are amazing and I just got sucked into them. The sand is red, the rocks are red and then the lake is this amazing azure blue. I want to find fabrics those exact colors and use them to paint what I still see in my mind.
I did a lot of floating around surrounded by dogs...The water was just so wonderful and this picture doesnt even do it justice. I also climbed some big red rocks, rode the waverunner a lot and attempted to wakeboard. I got up twice meaning my butt left the water, but I couldnt stay up. I am going to get it next time for sure! I also took advantage of the perfect light and took the cutest baby photos of my friends little guy Ryder. I love to take "kid" pictures....
On the home front, very little progress in the unpacking. Things are still kinda chaotic. I putter and unpack half a box now and then and call it good. I did plant some flowers in pots for the back yard. I miss my garden, I miss my kids that garden with me.The flowers are pretty, but I didnt feel the joy that I usually do when my hands are in the dirt.
I went to the Capitol Theatre here in Salt Lake City and saw Les Miserables.
I had never seen it..I loved it. The music was incredible and made me cry more than once. Wicked is coming in August and I am so excited about it. I have wanted to see it for the longest time!
I also took a trip to the hospital in an ambulance from work after I collapsed with chest pain and anxiety. My anxiety really went up when the guy in the ambulance told me I was having a heart attack. Then they gave me some good drugs and I didnt care anymore. Is this why people like drugs? I almost think it was worth getting a break from my life...If only for a few days.
Creative wise? Very little...I have pulled out some rows of star blocks to start putting a quilt top together and then I laid it out and pondered over it....pondered some more and said to myself " oh, never mind" and put it back. I did make some fairy ornaments though....Because I had the Enchanted ornament swap and my partner is Sherry whom I love....
I also made some tags and cards....
My sister, Julie left with the kids to Oregon and has been gone two months....I am so anxious to see Jace and Baby Ava! The best news though? She brought Olivia back with her so I get to have her for the summer...I am really looking forward to it!!!