Sunday, December 5, 2010

Happy Holidays?

My friend Cinda called me tonight and told me that I need to post on my blog....so here I am posting...The blog does'nt call to me like it used too....I think depression does that. I had a day off today and I had big plans but I spent the day in bed sleeping. It felt good, though I know it probably isnt the best idea.
So what is new here? I won the Biggest loser contest for our store...I lost about 18 pounds...I would say all the drama made it easier but I eat like a pig when I am unhappy so it actually made it harder....
Thanksgiving I went to my sister Julie's for an hour and then I went home....It didnt feel like a Holiday to me and I just missed the kids too much.
I went with a friend to Thanksgiving point to see the lights last night. They were really beautiful.
I am still working and trying to hold myself in one piece and we had the first snow last week. I was sad to see the cold come in.
I finished my apron that I made for a swap that I signed up for before Don left...It is on its way to Canada and the lady I made it for is just a sweetheart. It is our first swap....here is the apron...










The panel across the middle is three big pockets...I like this pattern a lot. It is out of a book....I also made her a heart ornament filled with lavender and some Christmas coasters....I got a cricut cartridge for making Christmas cards so Julie and I could do some together...We havent done it yet, but the snowman card is the first one I made. I love the orange with the turquoise....and the glitter...









Tonight I figured I should probably do something constructive so I made another card....Boy, cards are a lot of work! I can sew faster than I can make something out of paper....I make a huge mess too....Here is the card.









I have been trying to reclaim the house and make it just mine....Packing away the @#$%$%$#### persons things and getting them out of here....getting new bedding...Turning his closet into a shoe closet....you get the idea...I also painted a pine hutch and buffet black and the wall behind it a paprika red color.....I like it a lot. I forgot to move the printer and the mirrors underneath but you get the idea.....








I still have Thanksgiving and fall stuff outside and inside....pathetic I know....I am working towards getting it down and maybe putting up Christmas stuff....Not sure I can do it....We will see....This grief and anger stuff is like walking through a heavy fog....I wish it would lift...
One really wonderful thing did happen last week though.....My neighbor across the street, Jennica came over with her little girl and offered to bring me dinner that night...She read on my blog what happened and felt bad she didnt know. She did bring me the best dinner too that night a 9:30 too....It couldnt have been better timing either...my kitchen was foodless and I mean food less.......I had lots of pet food though....Thanks so much Jennica for being kind...It means a lot to me.....I miss you all and I hope that I am back to myself soon...Thanks for all the support and love sent my way......Melinda

23 comments:

Miss 376 said...

Congratulations on managing to keep to your goal of losing weight. It's hard work at the best of times. The fog will lift, slowly, and in it's own time. In the meantime, make sure you take good care of yourself

Pat said...

I think it's a good idea to keep very busy making the house look different and "repurposing" some of the closets, etc. LOVE the cards you made so far....keep going with that...with your artistic flair, I'm sure you will make wonderful ones galore once you get in the swing of things!

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

Hey Sweetie..please call me the next time you're in the valley! I'd love to have you over for a cuppa and a chat. And a hug. Please? OK - colleen_blake@comcast.net - email me and I'll give you my number..

Hugs and congratulation onht eh weight loss..I'll bet you are looking fAbULouS!

sarah said...

melinda you are doing a great job.... do you know what you will find if you open a cocoon? nothing that looks like a caterpillar or a butterfly either... goo! that's what it is
i have an understanding of grief and loss and the best thing to do is curl up with it... it feels dark and confined but you will break free of it and be the new and improved amazingly beautiful free spirit that you are! blessings...s...

Needled Mom said...

It must feel like baby steps right now, but it is great that you are making yourself do them. I love the paprika and black combination! I have always been terrified to paint a wall red and I don't know why because I love seeing it.

Your cards are gorgeous! They look like a lot of work (and time).

I'm sure your swap partner will love her apron. It is so nice to have lots of big pockets in an apron.

Julie Harward said...

That is such a darling apron, I just love it! You know Melinda, anger can sometimes be good...it can motivate you and make you move, which you are doing, and thats great. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and get out there and enjoy this time of year! :D

Helen in the UK said...

HUGE CONGRATS on your weight loss, particularly given the circumstances ... I'm a comfort eater too!
Saw this quote on a quilt list today and I thought it might strike a chord with you:

BREAKFAST FOR THOUGHT
Never fear shadows.
They simply mean
there's a light shining
somewhere nearby.
-Ruth E. Renkel

You will get through this depression - keep fighting and creating :)

Jo said...

I wish i could heal your hurt and lift your pain, but that can only be done by you ... and sometimes you just have to go through it and let it run its own course ... and it sucks to go through it ... but be brave, be strong, keep creating and most of all be you ... and believe in you ... sending you big hugs!
ps, damn, that apron is sooooo cute!

Jenny said...

I'm sorry. I think it's OK to grieve. Know that thoughts, prayers and warm hugs surround you as you fight your way through the chaos of emotion right now.

Debby said...

Congrats on your weight loss sweetie. I am so glad to hear from you as I have been holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Love the beautiful apron you made for your friend in Canada. Take care of yourself. Oh and i love the black hutch, awesome.
Hugs,
debby

Laurie said...

Melinda, what you are doing is absolutely healthy! I love your new red wall and your black hutch and the idea of a SHOE CLOSET!! I know the holidays will be tough -- they always are when you're grieving -- but I know you will get through them, more than just survive them, too. I think you'll find joy this Christmas. Stay strong and sassy, girl!

Maria said...

So nice to hear from you. Was wondering where you were.
WOW!!! Well done Melinda on that huge weight loss.
Photos in your header look fabulous.
Love your cards. Keep stitching and please keep in touch.
HugzMaria

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I am so glad you are back in blogland. Support is everywhere, and this is just one avenue. Right now, it may be for the best that you are working. It's also great that you won the loser contest. 18 lbs is a lot, especially during all the turmoil.

And it's good to see you are creating. You need that. And keep that smile plastered there, and (as you said) before you you know it, it won't be a fake smile, but one of uplifting happiness that things are going OK. At least you have a job, something nearly 1/3 of the country seems to not have right now. At least you have friends, and people who care. Things could be worse. You could own a voodoo doll and no pins (grin).

Jeanne Turner McBrayer said...

Oh, my goodness...all you want to do is lie in bed with the covers up (understandably) but look at all you have accomplished! Painted furniture and room, reorganizing, making handmade cards and gifts...and that apron is the cutest ever! Well, maybe second to your Alice in Wonderland apron. Sounds like you are doing better than expected...keep that beautiful smile!

~*~Patty S said...

Aw sweetie I am sorry you are suffering...grief and loss are a process as you already know...be gentle with yourself...putting one foot in front of the other

I think it is amazing you are creating and making things...take care dear one

wish I could sit with you...I'd probably cry...but hey tears are healing...you might not want to come and visit my bbb unless you want to be reminded that there are good guys out there (too soon I know)...it took me more than one try to find a keeper.

Love ya!
oxo

Marva said...

Hey Lady! I was getting worried about you! I love your header! Looks awesome! And I love the color of your hutch and the wall behind it! It looks awesome! Can I have permission to lift a photo off your blog? I'd like to make you something... Marva

Patty said...

Way to go on loosing all that weight. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, Kiddo.

Yarni Gras! said...

I am glad to see you managed to post, we've all missed you! Please create something else for us to drool over soon.

BTW, congrats on your weight lose. I thought Don weighed more than 18 pounds....hee hee...I'm being a jerk but he deserves it.

Rannyjean said...

Glad to hear you are moving in the right direction. I love you!

Sandy Ang said...

Hope you hang in there and take it one day at a time. Sending hugs and kisses and well wishes for Chirstmas

Crazy Amy said...

Hopefully it's ok, but I'll keep you in my prayers. You have such talent and creativity and hope you are able to find solace in God and your art. I am grateful for your blog and insight into your amazing work.

Little Messy Missy said...

xoxoxoxoxo

Jenny said...

Melinda, hugs and prayers continue to come your way.